Longing and actively looking for a mate is in our DNA. We are driven to find someone to be our better half from the time we hit puberty till the end of our lives. Sometimes it can be difficult finding someone that you genuinely connect with due to your own personal laundry list of expectations.

I personally feel that when looking for a serious relationship each person should go in with an open mind but have a few solid non-negotiables and not a long list of unrealistic expectations.

It is important to look for personality traits and not materialistic or shallow attributes. Yes, I understand that being sexually attracted to the person is extremely important and I am not saying do not look for a good looking mate, but do not make looks a non-negotiable. You will be surprised how attractive a person can become when you connect with them on a personal and emotional level.

A few important things to look for in a partner are:

1. Brains
Both men and women are drawn to people that are articulate and have a thirst of knowledge. This does not mean that you have to be a genius by any means. It just means you are educated.

2. Driven
It is extremely sexy when someone is driven and will do anything to reach their goals and full potential.

3. Hard to get
Do not be the person that everyone gets, be the person that everyone wants.

4. Values
Whether your values are different from one another it is important to have your own set of personal values that you live by. It is important to know that the person you want to be with has morals.

5. Honesty
Honesty is key in any relationship whether it be between friends or lovers.

6. Loyal
Being loyal to those around you is crucial. Without loyalty there usually is no trust and without trust their is no relationship.

7. Humor
In the famous words of Marilyn Monroe, “If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.”

8. Passion
Having a passion for life and your partner is a huge turn on. Without passion a relationship can die.

9. Open-minded
Being open-minded and willing to try new things or being open to new ideas and ways of thinking is essential to a healthy relationship. Having to deal with someone who is hard-headed and completely set in their ways is a huge turnoff. No one wants to have to be with someone who always has to get their way.

10. Trust
Trust goes along with honesty and loyalty. You want to be with someone that you trust will support you, be honest to you, be loyal, and take all your secrets to the grave.

Depending on you, your non-negotiables may be different but I personally feel that these are the top 10 attributes that people are looking for in a significant other.

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