Adding a little spice into your bland sex life can not only do wonders for your sexual satisfaction but it can also enhance your relationship with your partner.
You do not need to be particularly kinky or sexually adventurous to introduce sex toys into the bedroom.
Before you run to Condom Revolution with your partner in tow there are some things you need to think about.
Brining up the topic of incorporating toys into the bedroom can be a tricky conversation to tackle, especially if your partner or you are hesitant to talk about sex.
When I brought it up to my boyfriend he was completely down to try it out mainly because we are completely honest with each other about our sexual needs and desires. Although, we are extremely comfortable together he had some hesitation once the immediate excitement started to fade.
I remember he kept repeatedly saying, “Wait. You’re not going to leave me for your new vibrator now, right?”
This kind of reaction is completely normal and expected. Your partner, no matter how secure they are with themselves, can feel as if you wanting to introduce sex toys as you complaining about your current sex life. Of course this is not the case so you must reassure your partner and validate their feelings. Let your partner know that a toy cannot replace the real thing.
“Regardless of how fun a toy may be it doesn’t replace the feel and enjoyment of a live person,” said LaurieBennett-Cook, a clinical sexologist, se therapist, and sex educator.
Bennett-Cook said that being open and honest with your partner is a must. So allow them to openly express their excitement and hesitations around the idea without judgement.
If you are new to sex toys going into a sex shop can be intimidating but it should not be. Bennett Cook recommends asking them employers at the store any and all questions you have because they are extremely knowledgeable on the subject.
Ease yourself into toys. Start off easy with incorporating lube into your sex life. It can wake up all sorts of sensations.
Next, purchase an inexpensive vibrator. Get used to using it and discover what you like and do no like. There is not need for buying an expensive vibrator when you are just experimenting in the beginning.
The benefits of using toys with your partner are endless. One of the biggest perks is getting to know your body on a different level and building a stronger connection with your partner through communication.
“Toys can add variety, excitement, and new sensations. Taking the time to experiment and play can help one get to know their body better – what sensations, rhythms, pressures etc. do you find you’re enjoying. The more you know yourself, the better you can communicate your likes and dislikes with a partner,” said Bennett-Cook.
Sex toys can also increase the chances of a woman climaxing.
Only around one third of women experience orgasms through penetration alone according to The Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologist of Canada. They also state that the other two thirds either reach an orgasm through intercourse with extra situation or by manual and oral stimulation. So integrating toys into your normal sex life increases the woman’s chance of an orgasm whether it be clitoral or vaginal.
Exploring your partners and your desires by using toys is a great way to connect with your partner on another, more sensual level. Becoming more intimate and adventurous is important and using sex toys can do just that.
“Toys are an excellent tool for exploring various fantasies,” said Bennett-Cook.
There are not too many drawbacks of toys. The main drawback is not knowing how to properly use the toys. Taking it slow and doing your research can do wonders.
Not only can sex toys make a relationship stronger by adding some good vibrations but it can also be exciting for both parties. Both people get to experience something new while sexually stimulating their partner to climax. What is better than that?