Body Positive Social Media Accounts to Follow

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I spend a lot of my free time on social media, as do many other people my age. I love sharing what I’m doing or the places I’ve explored with my friends and family as well as seeing what everyone else is up to.

Social media is such a great way to stay connected to those you may not see as often as you’d like or family members that live out of state or even following your favorite celebrities lives.

But there is also a “dark” side to being so active on social media. Constantly being bombarded with photos of “Instagram models” (no shade, you do you!) provocatively posing with their rock hard abs and perfect hair and makeup can lead anyone to feel a drop in their self-confidence.

Our perceptions of ourselves can slowly change due to us constantly comparing ourselves to other people and celebrities.

I know I’ve definitely compared myself to multiple celebrities and influencers over the years and it honestly takes a toll on me. I wonder why I’m not traveling to Bora Bora every other week or have long luscious blonde hair down to my ass and why my skin isn’t 100% blemish free at all times.

As humans, we are constantly comparing our lives and the way we look to others. Whether it be all about our appearances or how much money someone else makes; we’re programmed to always compare ourselves to the next person. Remember the old phrase “keeping up with the Joneses”? Well, we still have the same mentality today about trying to be better than the person next to us.

Constantly comparing yourself to someone else can be tiring and more-so it’s just not healthy for us.

Although I still follow a handful of celebrities and influences on Instagram, I have made a conscious effort to follow more people that inspire and encourage me instead of making me question my self-worth.

The following women that I decided to include in this post mean so much to me. They have helped me realize my own self-worth, helped me learn to not be so hard on myself and they’ve helped create a community for women (and men) to come together and support and empower one another.

Because we are definitely stronger together!

 

@bodyposipanda
I stumbled across Megan’s page a while ago and I absolutely love it! She is like a walking, talking rainbow and I love that about her. Everything that comes out of her mouth is positive and uplifting. She’s constantly posting photos of people all shapes, sizes, races, gender, sex and so much more and helping their voices be heard. I have never seen a more diverse group of individuals anywhere than I have on her page. She always celebrates women and their beauty; inner and outer. My favorite thing about her page is that I always feel so accepted. Her infectious personality and honesty will have you coming back for more!

 

@breekish
This girl is a literal ray of freaking sunshine! I swear there is always a smile on her face and only kind words ever come out of her mouth! Bree is a plus-sized model that is obsessed with all things Disney, oh and did I mention she is a literally living, breathing angel? I love that she stands up for what she believes in, like how plus-sized women are not really represented in the media, movies, fashion and more. She also always reminders her followers that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and no matter what you look like, you are worthy and should be respected.  Her bubbly and vibrant personality paired with her body positivity will always draw me to her account when I’m feeling a little down.

 

@noelledowning
I’ve only been following Noelle for a few months now but she is just simply amazing. This girl is constantly building up the other women around her. A lot of people in the “influencer” industry seems to tear each other down to get ahead and Noelle is the complete opposite! It seems like she has made so many genuine friendships with women from all walks of life. But my favorite thing about her is how honest she is with all is her follows. She occasionally posts a few BTS photos of her showing her followers what really happened when taking pictures, instead of just posting the perfectly posted photo. She is extremely body postive and is always willing to show the fact that her tummy also has rolls! She inspires me to focus on my well-being by cooking more meals at home and getting my ass to the gym with her cute recipes and daily “heading to the gym” outfit inspos!

 

 

@ddlovato
I have been in love with Demi Lovato since she stared in the Disney Channel short “As the Bell Rings” and then of course “Camp Rock”. So I’ve followed her through all of her ups and downs. She’s struggled with so much in her life and watching her overcome so many of her own personal demons like eating disorders and drug abuse inspires me to keep fighting my demons. She is so raw and honest and she empowers so many people on a daily basis. Not only is she extremely beautiful physically but you can just tell that she also has a beautiful soul and really wants to inspire others to become better versions of themselves for themselves.

 

@theashleygraham
I have been obsessed with Ashley Graham since her legendary Sports Illustrated cover. This woman is a badass. She is unapologetic and just simply an inspiration. She celebrates her curves, rolls, stretch marks and other “imperfections” and wants everyone else to do the same! She believes that more women of all shapes and sizes need to be represented in magazines, movies, fashion shows and so on and I couldn’t agree more!

 

@loeybug
I fell into a true crime worm hole on Youtube one day and found the lovely Loey! So not only do her and I have a fascination with all things horror and scary but we also feel very strongly about spreading body positivity. She has a playlist on Youtube titled “The Curvy Diaries”, all about her plus-size hauls and lookbooks. I love that she is providing plus-size women with a way to style their clothes in a cute and fashionable way since to be honest, most companies don’t do that. They want “bigger” women to hide their bodies away, while Loey wants women to celebrate their bodies and not shy away from crop tops even if you’re not a size 2!

 

@spiiltmilk
I love following along Kai’s life. To put it simply, she is a badass bitch! My favorite thing about following her is that she is brutally honest and she’s unapologetic about it. She will straight up say that her kids are driving her nuts at the moment or that she is struggling with how she feels about herself and the way she looks. And although she lets her followers know shes also struggling, like everyone else, she always ends things on a positive note. Her honesty is what drew me to her page and it’s what keeps me around!

 

 

@ellosummer

I’ve known Summer for years! Not only is she absolutely gorgeous but also has an amazingly huge heart. There is no way to be sad when you’re around her. This girl forces everyone around her to see the beauty in themselves. Whenever I’m feeling down about myself, I can always count on Summer to hype me up! She is such a free spirting with a love for adventure and life. She inspires me every single day to enjoy the little things and not take life so seriously. I know people tend to say, “you can’t be self-conscious you have the perfect body”, but that is definitely not true. No matter what you look like, sometimes we all struggle a little. And Summer is no different. Although Summer is absolutely stunning, she still suffers from self-esteem issues just like everyone else and the fact that she is honest about that just proves that we are all in this together. (Ignore my High School Musical reference.) We both are so like-minded in the way that we believe that all women should love themselves no matter what and express themselves the way they chose too without the fear of being judged. I have mad love for this girl!

 

Boudoir Photo Shoot

 

 

I have struggled with self-love and self-esteem issues ever since a boy I had a crush on asked me, “why aren’t you pretty like all your friends?”. I was seven years old.

Ever since that day, I have tried to discover ways to make myself feel beautiful. Whether it was as extreme as starving myself or something as simple as buying myself a new outfit. I’ve tried it all.

My journey of self-love has been a long and rough one but I still seem to trek on.

So me being the super self-conscious and critical woman I am, I decided the best thing for me to do was partake in a boudoir photo shoot for my two year anniversary present to my boyfriend. Makes perfect sense, right?

A photographer I had been following for a while on Instagram posted that she was doing a boudoir photo shoot package including hair and makeup as a Valentine’s Day gift idea and I signed up right away.

I was obviously very hesitant to partake in the photo shoot due to my body image issues, but little did I know that this photo shoot would be one of the most empowering and impactful things I have ever done for myself. I honestly thought that me posing provocatively in sexy lingerie was just a great gift for my boyfriend, which it was, but it was also a gift in disguise to myself.

On my way to the photo shoot, I was stressing out about the outfits I had picked out for myself. My two main insecurities had always been both my stomach and my arms. So naturally, I got two outfits that covered both with just enough skin showing that I felt comfortable but also sexy.

As soon as I arrived, I was greeted by the photographer, Jessica (@lagophoto), the makeup artists and hairstylists, Jess, Hailey and Loe, as well as the other women that were there for their own shoot.

These women were immediately so friendly and made me instantly feel comfortable. I was surrounded by women who were constantly speaking words of encouragement and love to each other from the second I stepped out of my car.

Once my makeup and hair were complete I went into the house to watch the ending of one of the other woman’s shoot. And let me tell you, this woman was PERFECT. She was nailing each pose and didn’t have to be directed as to what to do once. This scared me a little since I knew I was going to need A LOT of coaching on my poses and facial expressions since I knew I’d be somewhat stiff once the camera was on me. Oh, and I felt that my physical appearance was nowhere near as flawless as she was.

When it was my turn to shoot, I went and changed into my first outfit and I’m not going to lie, I gave myself a little pep talk in the mirror before stepping out.

But the second that I walked out of the bathroom all of the women began to boost my confidence with their “damn”, “oohs” and “ahhs”. And honestly their words of encouragement and constantly assisting me with my poses.

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This boudoir photo shoot was honestly such an amazingly positive experience for me. I was surrounded by women who genuinely support other women and aren’t threatened by another woman’s beauty or confidence.

For the first time in a long time, I felt so beautiful and sexy in my own skin and it was all thanks to these women.

While I was shooting, I wasn’t once worried about how the poses made my stomach look or whether my arms were pushed against my sides making them look fat. I was able to feel free and confident. I was living in the moment, which hasn’t happened to me in years!

There was even a time during the shoot that the photographer asked me to take off my lace kimono, which I was wearing to cover up my arms. It had been my security blanket throughout the whole shoot and I told her that I hated my arms and she told me to stop being silly and to take it off.

Taking off that security blanket, while it may seem so simple and easy, was a big deal for me. I haven’t worn anything that shows off my arms in about two or three years. So at first, I was nervous but honestly removing it felt so freeing!

Doing something so out of my comfort zone like 1. wearing lingerie and 2. wearing it in front of strangers and 3. having photo evidence of both of those things was honestly one of the best ideas I have ever had. It forced me to face my fears and confidence issues and left me feeling empowered, loved and self-assured.

DSC_3074When I received my photos I cried. I had never once in my life seen myself in that light before. I was so beautiful. The photos were breathtaking. I looked and felt so confident in my own skin.

But at the same time, I was overcome with sadness. Why had I not seen this side of myself before? Why was I now, at 25 years old, seeing the natural and raw beauty in myself?

That thought was extremely saddening. But it made me realize that I need to step out of my comfort zone more often and put myself in situations that will not only help me learn to love myself but also situations that allow me to build other women up. Women encouraging other women is so important and impactful.

The women that were on “set” that day with me probably don’t even realize how much of an impact they made on me and my confidence that day. They made me feel invincible and forced me to see my own beauty. It has always been extremely easy for me to see and express the beauty in others, but I have never been able to do that for myself. So these women really made a lasting effect on me with their kind and honest words.

Since gifting the photos to my boyfriend, I have been trying to better myself for myself. I have been working on my self-confidence and self-love. My goal is to see myself the way my boyfriend sees me; effortlessly beautiful.

I know that the journey of self-love is going to be a lifelong journey but it’s something that needs to happen in order for me to feel fulfilled and truly happy.

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I never thought that something as simple as partaking in a boudoir photo shoot would have such an impact on me. But it did. And I cannot express how much this experience meant to me and how I feel like every single woman should do one for herself.

I thought this photo shoot was for my boyfriend as an anniversary gift, but it truly was for me and my own personal empowerment. It made me understand that us women need to stick together and support each other no matter what.

The years of women being pitted against each other to make themselves feel better is behind us. We need to stand together, support and empower each other. We are stronger together!

 

 

Happily Healthy

IMG_0079Tomorrow, February 1st, my boyfriend Vincent and I will celebrate our two year anniversary. I’m definitely not going to say that our relationship is perfect, it never will be, and we’re okay with that. But it is such a mutually beneficial and healthy relationship, filled with so much respect and love. Which is honestly all we both have ever wanted.

We fight. We disagree. We bicker like an old married couple. We get annoyed with each other. We need our alone time away from each other. But we also love each other endlessly and continually grow together and as our own person.

If you’ve read any of my previous blogs about my past relationship then you will know that I know exactly what an unhealthy relationship is like due to my ex. But thankfully that relationship taught me a lot and really shaped me into a better me, which allowed me to love and respect what I have with Vincent so much more.

With Vincent and mine two-year relationship just around the corner (literally less than 24 hours away). I wanted to discuss some things that make a relationship a “healthy” one according to my experience being in an extremely unhealthy relationship vs. my current healthy relationship.

Let’s get into it!

  1. You not only grow together as a couple, but you also grow as your own person
    You both push each other to be better. No one is perfect, but you can always be better than you are right now. You’re also not afraid to let your significant other know where and when they can be better and also open to constructive criticism; it’s coming from the heart!
  2. Neither of you compromise your values or “non-negotiable” 
    If you and your partner really love each other than neither of you will ask the other to compromise their values just because you don’t believe in them or like them.
  3. You are not afraid to speak up
    Your partner’s wishes and feelings have value, and so do yours. You both always let each other know that the others feelings, ideas, etc. are constantly on your mind and have a place in your personal decision making. You both also let the other know when their words or actions are out of line as well. Mutual respect is essential to maintaining healthy relationships.
  4. You have boundaries
    Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you isolate yourself from your loved ones and friends. Healthy relationships require space and alone time. You both make it a priority to spend time without each other with either friends or family or if you’re like me a solo trip to Target.
  5. You support each other
    -Reassurance and encouragement are both amazing benefits of having a significant other. Knowing that the person you love supports you in all that you do is a wonderful feeling and when you’re in a healthy relationship these feeling/actions are like second nature.
  6. You fight
    Okay, listen to me for a second. Disagreements are a natural and healthy part of a relationship, whether it be romantic or platonic. It is okay to have disagreements and learn to compromise on certain things. What’s not okay is having screaming matching at each other. So when I say “fight” I mean healthy disagreements that have a positive outcome such as a comprise or better understanding of the issue as a result.

So please remember that relationships require a lot of work from both parties. Both Vincent and I feel that a relationship is not 50/50. It’s 100/100. Each person needs to put in 100%. This doesn’t mean that each person is putting in 100% at all times. Sometimes you’re having a hard day so your partner puts in more work to make you feel better and comfort you. And that’s awesome. That’s what love is all about.

Also, no relationship is perfect. Just because your relationship isn’t perfect in your or others eyes doesn’t mean it’s not a healthy relationship. (If you want to read about an unhealthy, destructive relationship scroll down and read my past blog posts about my ex.)

All relationships are unique and lovely in their own way. But the most beautiful and raw relationships are those with two people, despite their hardships, who together give each other endless happiness. Those people are happily healthy in their relationship.

P.S. Happy two year anniversary Vincent. I love you bubs.

How Social Media Distorts our Perception of Real Relationships

It’s been a few weeks since I released my “Addicted to you” blog post. And in those weeks I have been going back and forth on what my next post should entail.

Should it be about a specific event that happened? Or about the tactics my ex used to manipulate me? Or even another overall view of my toxic relationship? Or should it be more about me or about him?

These are the questions that have been floating around in my head constantly and I’ve honestly written pages and pages on each topic. But I was still torn on what I should post.

I’ve been constantly writing and then immediately deleting everything because what I’m trying to express is extremely hard to articulate in a coherent manner, since well, my relationship wasn’t really easy to understand.

But since I’ve been thinking about this a lot I realized that more negative memories from my past are starting to resurface. It’s honestly insane how our true memories can be so distorted by either the sheer power of us wanting to believe something different happened or by the manipulation of another changing our memories.

After the realization that most of my memories of my first love are not as they seem, the more I realized how much power he had over me.

The one thing that you think that someone can’t take away from you are your memories. But that is in fact a lie. They can be taken away and they can be manipulated.

I’m not just a victim of  my memories being manipulated but I also actively participated in deceiving all of my friends and family as to what was actually occurring in my relationship.

For the most part, I did this somewhat unconsciously since most people don’t like to actively air out their dirty laundry and I was no different. I chose to only show the world the “good” that was happening in my relationship, even if most of it was fabricated.

Social media is such a huge part of peoples lives in this day and age. People use social media for all sorts of things. Like staying connected with friends and family, sharing their experiences and even promoting themselves.

I’m not going to lie, I was once obsessed with how I looked on social media. And to be completely honest I still somewhat am.

That being said, I only let the world see what I wanted them to see.

Most of my posts on social media were all about the fun things I was doing or how amazing my ex-boyfriend was. But honestly most of them were fabricated.

Social media distorts the way we see real relationships because of people like me who claim to have the perfect relationship even though it’s the furthest thing from the truth.

Due to “social media relationships” young adults are expecting to be whisked off their feet at every turn in a relationship and that’s not the way it is in reality.

People fight. They have disagreements. They go through some tough shit together. But do you ever see that displayed on social media? No.

My past relationship was a whirlwind. That’s the best word to describe it because there were some really good times but there was also some deep, dark times that no one should ever go through.

And I lied a lot on social media. I claimed that our relationship was all sunshine and roses all the time! And it wasn’t.

We fought probably 90% of the time an the other 10% was us trying to make up for our dysfunctional relationship by ignoring our arguments without working them out or finding a resolution and playing “house”.

So everything all my friends and family saw on social media was pretty much a lie.

I loved my ex. More than he probably ever loved me. But the wonderful things I constantly said about him all over social media also came with him throwing tantrums, talking to other girls constantly, belittling me and countless other unthinkable things. But I never told anyone those things. Not only was I embarrassed but I also felt like I somewhat deserved the torture because I had such low self-esteem and he used that against me.

I went through all of my social media accounts and pulled some photos that I posted about my ex. And for the first time I’m going to be brutally honest about what was actually going on during the time I posted each of these photos.

(But like I said above, my memory regarding most of these events is a little distorted so I might not recall everything that was going on.)


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My ex and I had been officially dating for about a month and we were already falling in love. I decided to take him to my cousins wedding as my date so he could meet my family. Everything was going good until it wasn’t.

He was obviously nervous to meet most of my family so both of us had one or two drinks during the reception. (We both were only 18 at the time but since we were at a family members house my mom allowed us to have a drink.)

But I quickly noticed that he soon was very intoxicated. He was slurring his words and was visibly drunk.

I had only seen him drink one or two drinks. But then I found out that he had been sneaking drinks when my family wasn’t looking. This should have been the first warning sign, but what can I say. I was infatuated with him so I left it slide with little to no resistance.

 

This was our one year anniversary. We both had Disney passes and went about two times per week.

He took me to Ariels Grotto in California Adventure because he knew Ariel was my favorite Disney princess. He bought me a really heartfelt gift that anniversary—it was a 20th century antique typewriter key encased in a silver pendant.

This was probably one of the only truly happy memories I have of us.

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This text was sent to me about a year and a half into our relationship. To be honest I’m not exactly sure what occurred before this message was sent.

But I was used to receiving messages like this typically about a day after we would have a huge blow out. He’d also try to save his ass and get back on my good side again by making me feel like the only girl in the world and like he truly did love me. This was his m.o.

The saddest part of it all? I fell for it every time.

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This photo was taken at his dads house. The only time we ever went over there was to get shit faced. And this time was no different.

We were sober when the photo was taken but that evening we were both pretty intoxicated.

My favorite thing about this photo is that I refer to him as my best friend. He was my best friend because I had abandoned all of my other friends just to be with him. I was addicted to being around him and with him at all times and most of my friends had had enough of it. And I don’t blame them one bit for that.

Thankfully, I have repaired my relationship with them all now.

5

We were visiting my grandma who lives up north. To be completely honest this was a nice trip for both of us. I remember us getting along really well the whole time and it actually felt like a real and true relationship for once.

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This photo honestly terrifies me now. The reason being, he would make similar faces when he was having delusions. (He used to hear and see things that weren’t there a lot of the time.)

He acted as if he was possessed and would growl and say vial things. So this photo just brings up some of the most emotionally draining and terrifying events that had ever happened to me.

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I attended my colleges play because I was writing a piece on it for the newspaper. I bought two tickets, one for me and one for my ex. He decided last minute that he wasn’t going to go with me, so I ended up attending it alone.

The reason this photo makes me so sad now is because when he told me he wasn’t going to go with me it crushed me. I had always shown interest in his passions like music so when he told me he wasn’t going that meant that he wasn’t interested in my passion for writing. And this picture was me trying to show the public that I was happy, when I really wasn’t.

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We were at Disneyland again in this photo. He was pretty deeply into his alcoholism and drug abuse at this point but I was obviously naive and ignorant about it.

And as you can see by the comments, people believed our false happiness.

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This photo was taken right before we broke up for good.

I had driven down to San Clemente where he was in rehab. We had the whole day planned full of exploring, shopping, eating and catching up.

I’m not sure if it was this day or another day I went down there to visit with him but I found out he was talking to other girls.

We were laying down next to each other after just making what I assumed to be love, when he went to the bathroom and his phone buzzed. I looked over at it and noticed he had a text from one of our old coworkers. I opened it and discovered that he was asking her for photos and telling her how beautiful she was. He was sending these text pretty much at the same time he was telling me how after rehab he was going to get a job, save his money and propose to me. He was even telling my mother this as he was flirting with this girl.

I was so extremely devastated because I was still sticking by his side even though he had put me through hell and back and was attending rehab. Most girlfriends would have dropped their boyfriends way before it ever came to this, but not me.

Another thing, the caption on the photo pictured above has since been edited but before it had something to do with how much I loved him and how wonderful that day had been for me to finally see him clean and sober for the first time in what felt like forever.

Needless to say, not everything you see on social media is real.

Valentine’s Day for new couples

I recently, and by recently I mean like a few days ago, started dating a guy. We’ve been talking for a few months now but I wasn’t ready for a committed relationship until recently. So naturally, we’ve already discussed Valentine’s Day. I personally wanted to do something super mellow and small since it’s a new thing and because I’m just not that into Valentines Day. But on the other hand, he wanted to go all out since I would be his first real Valentine. (Super cute, I know!) Thankfully I talked him down and we compromised to a nice little picnic in the park and gifting each other something small.

But sometimes talking about Valentine’s Days with your new significant other can be awkward. You don’t want to see too eager to get all lovey-dovey and you also don’t want to seem like an asshole for not wanting to do anything.

Let me make it simple for you guys.

Ease into. Bring up the topic with something casual like, “Hey I know we just recently got together but I was wondering if you wanted to do something for Valentine’s Day. Nothing crazy, just something casual and easy-going.” This will open up the conversation and help you both compromise on what to do.

But just be sure to state what you’re comfortable with. If you’re not ready to go all out and go to a five-star restaurant and exchange expensive gifts, then tell them. It’s also good to set a price limit on gifts during the beginning of the relationship. It’s better to just be honest than feel the pressure of something you’re either not ready for or just not comfortable with.

Below I’ve listed a few simple things that you can do on Valentines Day that pretty much take all the stress and pressure out of trying to plan something romantic but not too romantic for new couples.

Where to go:
1. Go to the aquarium
Taking your significant other to the aquarium is very romantic, yet not over the top. The best part about going to the aquarium is watching your them in amazement and awe of the beautiful sea creatures. (I’m an observer)
2. Picnic in the park
Go to Trader Joes and pick up some artisan cheese, multi-grain crackers, fruit and wine and head to a cute, quiet nearby park. (Bonus points: bring some bread and feed the ducks. But steer clear of the geese. Those fuckers are mean and will chase you down.)
3. Grab brunch/lunch
Bottomless mimosas.
4. Movie marathon
Grab some popcorn, snacks and candy and jump into bed with a Netflix marathon. You can pretend to watch all 8 seasons of Dexters as you suck each others faces off in-between stuffing your face with fatty food.
5. Cook together
Decide on something to cook, then to to the grocery store to grab all the ingredients and then playfully make dinner together.

What to give:
1. Their favorite alcoholic beverage
Grab their favorite bottle of whiskey or go-to wine and share a few glasses together. (Or even the whole bottle, no judgement)
2. Homemade goods
It’s a proven fact that no one will turn down freshly baked brownies or chocolate covered strawberries.
3. Get them a gift card
Keep it simple and under $50.
4. Give them your favorite book or movie
This gift is like giving them a little piece of you.

Digital Dating

I recently went through a breakup with a guy that I had been seriously dating for around four years. It sucked but I survived.

But after I got through the ugly crying, constant bloodshot eyes and countless bottles of wines stage I started thinking about getting back out there. And the first thought that crossed my mind was, “Oh fuck” followed by “I don’t even remember how to date, let alone flirt with a guy.”

My ex was my first boyfriend and I was with him since I was 18 so I didn’t even remember how to approach a hot guy since I was used to just having him. I honestly didn’t even know where to start. So like any heartbroken and horny girl…I decided to download Tinder.

My experience with Tinder was pretty typical. I matched with quiet a lot of people, received countless unwanted dick pics and met up with some pretty chill guys. I wasn’t looking for anything serious but I also wasn’t looking for just a fuck buddy. (Which apparently are the only two types of guys that are on Tinder)

More recently I decided to download Bumble and Hinge since my friend suggested them to me and she loves living viciously through me. To be honest, I downloaded these two apps for research purposes only and I only kept them for about two weeks.

After exploring each app I found out there was a lot of similarities between the three “dating” apps. And I say “dating” apps in quotations because honestly most people use these apps to fuck or hookup. It’s the truth and we all know it. So to all the ladies saying, “I’m not like other girls” and the fellas saying, “NO HOOKUPS!” in their bio just stop and be honest about what you want. Everyone on these apps want to get it in. Yes, I understand there may be a few exceptions but for the most part this is the case.

I first checked out Bumble and I actually really liked it. It took me a little while to get the hang of it but once I did I went on a-swiping. I think I swiped right more on Bumble than I ever did on Tinder and I was on Tinder for months before I joined Bumble and I only had it for a week or two. So what I mean by that is there are SO many hot guys on Bumble, like so many that I honestly kept thinking, “Bumble must hire these hot guys to make profiles to get more girls on their apps.” There was a suspicious number of hot guys.

Hinge was a different story. I didn’t really like it at all. It only let you swipe through a small number of people before it would tell you to come back later to swipe more, which I thought was weird. The only thigk I liked about Hinge is the fact that it asks you “are you into ________” and you can click yes or no and it would show you more people that had similar interests.

So for the most part I enjoyed my experience with online or app “dating” but I personally had the most success on Tinder. I met a few guys that I literally only met up with to hook up with (because girls have needs to!) but I also met some cool guys that I’ve stayed friends with (strictly platonic). So I urge people to download literally every single “dating” site there is and find out which one fits your needs and run with it!

Here’s a list of the pros and cons of the sites that I researched!

Tinder:
Pros:
-Easy to use
-There are a large number of people on the app

Cons:
-There are a lot of automated messages from “fake” profiles (guys tend to get most of these)
-Shows you people that are 5 million miles away even though you set your preferences to a specific radius
-Photos can only be added to your profile if they are already on your Facebook

Bumble:
Pros:
-You an shake your phone to retrieve a match that you accidentally swiped left on
-Women have to send the first message
-Hotter guys
-Allows you to upload photos from your camera roll, Instagram, etc.

Cons:
-First message has to be sent within 24 hours of matching or you lose the match forever

Hinge:
Pros:
-More for relationships
-Nice layout of profiles
-Asks you for your interests and shows you individuals that have either the same or similar interests

Cons:
-Only gives you a small number of people to swipe through at a time
-First message has to be sent within 24 hours of matching or you lose the match forever (the Hinge team just changed this the other day, so now you have 14 days to connect with your matches)

Similarities between all the sites:
-Right and left swiping. Right means “like” or “yes” and left means “dislike” or “no”.
-They connected to your Facebook to gather your basic information and photos.
-You can choose the age range you’re looking for as well as the distance of your potential matches.

The Do’s & Don’ts of flirting via text

Everyone has been in the situation when you are texting someone you are interested in but you do not want to make a fool of yourself. Here are some do’s and don’ts of text flirting.

The Do’s:
1. Ladies, did you know you it’s okay for you to send the first text? I know, this is groundbreaking
There is an unspoken rule that guys always have to text the girl first but that is so old-school. Ladies need to step out of their comfort zone and send the guy they are interested in a test first. He will appreciate it and you will feel more empowered because you are taking charge of your dating life.

2. Be direct and let them know your intentions
Let the person know if you are interested in them or you just want to be friends. Do not play games or beat around the bush.

3. Send thank you texts after dates/meet ups
Either the same night of your date or the following day it’s good etiquette to send a thank you text to the other person.

4. Reply in a timely manner
No one likes waiting for hours for a reply, unless you are truly that busy. Do not wait hours to reply because you feel like you seem too “needy” if you reply quickly.

5. Ask open-ended questions
Do not ask “yes” or “no” questions. The conversations will end up being boring and blunt.

6. Set up dates
Use texting to set up dates with the person you are interested in.

7. Play 20 questions but do not immediately get sexual
“Whats your favorite color?” “Purple. What’s yours?” “Green. So are you a virgin?”
Also be sure to not ask them everything. You want to leave some questions for your dates. Otherwise it will end up being pretty boring with tons of awkward silence.


The Don’ts:
1. Do not send dick pics or nudes
No one wants to receive a dick pic. I mean no one.

2. Do not ask for nudes
Asking for nudes is just plain rude. It makes it seem like that is all you want from that person and you are not truly interested in getting to know them and potentially dating them.

3. Do not text multiple people flirting with all of them
Do not multi-text, meaning do not text multiple girls at one time flirting with all of them. It is not classy.

4. Do not drunk text
It is not cute receiving a text at 3 am claiming that “you are the hottest girl everrrrrrrrrr!” or “I wish you were here because I would *insert sexual action*.”

5. Do not randomly call
This one is a big one with me since I hate talking on the phone, especially to people I am not yet fully comfortable with. If you want to talk on the phone be sure to ask the other person if they want to as well. Otherwise, there might be some awkward silences.

6. Do not abbreviate everything
Do not sent texts like “Hey. I had a gr8 time t’nite. U r so hawt.” It looks tacky and makes you seem like you are incapable of a real conversation or proper english for that matter. Side note: don’t add extra letters to things. Using “heyyyyyy” is so middle school.

7. Do not double text
Everyone has their own lives with school, work, and spending time with their friends and family. So do not double text someone if they do not respond as quickly as you would like. It is okay to send a text the next day asking what happened, how they are doing, or simply just tell them you miss them.